Can we stop getting dramatic about love please?
I was blessed to meet Joe at a young age, and to be able to be in a relationship with him during my formative years. But I started dating in high school and for a person like me- high expectations, very little patience, low self-esteem, and an unrealistic, fantastical outlook on life– love was a bitch.
In my young mind, relationships had to be filled with beautiful sentiments, romantic settings- basically, a lot of DRAMA.
You watch all these movies and shows and read romantic teen novels and all you see is love thrown around like a windsock- jilted lovers, trysts, obsession, lust, passion. It sells, and it’s fun.
But it F****d me up! I created drama in every relationship! (Granted- I was an emotional teenager). I fell helplessly in love with unattainable men. I’d obsess over one date with a guy and decide I must be in love. When I was broken up with, I’d cry for DAYS. Even now, when Joe and I are doing perfectly fine, I crave the turmoil of emotions and waves of passion I’d get with every new relationship.
WHY??? WHAT A WASTE!!
The truth is- there are some things that you are going to have to come to terms with- things that movies, show, novels and even real people won’t tell you about.
Repeat ad nauseum: The right person is waiting for me.
Drill it into your head that you will find someone, and you will know that it is the right person. They aren’t going to be perfect, but they are going to be perfect for you.
There is absolutely no sense in dating someone if you don’t feel it. Go for a couple dates, and if it doesn’t seem right, end it. Too many times I’ve seen relationships that go on for years longer than they need to.
Avoid pining over lost loves. They are gone, they weren’t for you, and there’s no point in trying to “win them back”. Why add that extra drama to your life? Find someone better!
Relationships are boring sometimes.
This seems obvious- but for us “millennials” who don’t have an attention span, always looking to be entertained- it’s a serious lesson.
You will come home and sit on the couch and watch TV, maybe 4 or 5 days out of the week. You’ll have to listen to the same music again and again (the Beatles, Rolling Stones, Led Zepplin, Bob Dylan, verbatim). You’ll start hearing the same stories being told.
You know what? THIS IS AWESOME. This means you get along so comfortably with someone that you can be in a routine and handle the tedium together. Be cool with it.
We crave drama.
I miss dating other people. I miss the new and exciting. Joe does too. But we talk about it rather than acting out on these feelings because we know that feelings fade quickly.
You are going to want to be free and wild and impulsive, and it might feel like your partner is holding you back. Instead of deciding to text an ex or flirt at the bar, do something new with your partner. Do something dramatically different that will satisfy your craving for excitement.
The most romantic moments are private & uniquely yours.
THIS WAS SO HARD FOR ME TO LEARN. From our first kiss to when he proposed, I always had an image of how romantic and amazing each moment would be. I’d think about updating my status to “In a Relationship” and how cute we’d look in surprise-proposal photos.
In reality, the publicity of these moments weakens the depth of their meaning. You are going share countless precious and memorable times together. Don’t discount these because you saw a romantic proposal on YouTube or an Instagram post of someone’s Valentine’s day gift.
The most romantic moments I’ve shared with Joe have not been posted on Social Media, or written about on my blog. They are kept special and safe in my memories and in my heart.
I hope this was helpful- Send me a comment if you relate. 🙂